An Otaku Christmas Carol

So, Otaku Dan and I decided to write up another Otaku twist on a holiday classic. Here is what we came up with for the holiday classic of "A Christmas Carol". It is now "An Otaku Christmas Carol". Enjoy!

Scrooge-sama was walking down the hallways of his school with a smug look on his face. He is the President of The Anime Club and has the biggest perversion complex with a big attitude of “he is always right”. It didn’t make things any better that Christmas was approaching. The other students began to whisper to each other as they noticed Scrooge-sama with his usual smug smile.

“You know I heard that he’s an ego maniac. How did he even become the President of The Anime Club?” One of the girls asked another girl.

He finally arrives to the club room on Christmas Eve and the only person that is his actual friend, James is in the room waiting for him. James is doing the paper work for a future anime convention that they are going to. When Scrooge entered the room James greated him saying, “Happy Holidays.” Scrooge’s smug smile instantly turned into a frown.

“Humbug, what’s so great about this season?” Scrooge looks to James like he’s stupid. James sighed.

“The season is about people coming together and helping your fellow men.”

Scrooge scoffed and replied, “You mean helping your fellow man, which is me. If anything this season should be about me because I’m perfect. Now, you said that you had something important to tell me. What is it?”

James shook his head and brushed it off. “What I wanted to tell you is really more of an invitation to a party tonight to celebrate Christmas Eve.” He looked hopeful at Scrooge, though he had a feeling that his invitation will be for naught. It seemed Scrooge was actually considering about going but then completely destroyed what little hope was left in James.

“I’m not going to a stupid party to celebrate a stupid holiday. I have better things to do, “ Scrooge said as he walked around the room in arrogance. In his mind he pictured the perfect girls in his H-games and chuckled under his breath as he imagined all the things he could do to them. Tell the girls how beautiful they are so he could see their big breasts uncovered. Hear their sweet voices tease him make him horny.

James recognized that look. He groaned inward and grabbed the papers. “So, you’re not going to the party. That’s a shame.” He walks to the door and says one last time, “Merry Christmas Scrooge-sama.”

Scrooge scoffed. “Christmas…bah!” He took one last look around the room and then took off to his house.

It was a few hours before Scrooge was going off to bed in his room filled with figures that looked like beautiful anime girls when while he was playing his favorite H-game the screen went from sexy girl to a picture of the former President of The Anime Club. He then appeared outside the screen next to Scrooge in a ghostly form. “Scrooge-sama, you are an arrogant young man and I have come here to warn you that you would-“ Scrooge cut him off with a question, “Why are you so ghostly looking when you aren’t dead? You graduated last year, and I think I saw you a few days ago.”

The former President’s eye ticked, “That’s not the point. Look, three ghosts are going to visit you tonight whether you like it or not. Now I’m going to leave you in your stupidity. Have fun.” With an annoyed look on his face, the former President disappeared and Scrooge sat there wondering if his drinks were spiked with some type of drug.

He then fell asleep at his desk with drool coming out of his mouth and mumbling out the things he wants to do to his favorite H-game character, Neko-chan.

It wasn’t much longer when white smoke was on the computer screen and seeped out to cover the air above Scrooge’s body. As the smoke slowly woke him up he saw the image of Neko-chan standing next to him with her cute big eyes watching him. As his mind began to process that he was seeing her in real life he jumped up then fell to the floor and says, “I’ve finally lost my mind.”

“No silly, nya.” She smiled sweetly at him. “I’m here for real as the spirit of your Christmas past, nya.” Her long black cat tail was waving cutely as she smiled wide.

Scrooge pinched his arm and as he felt it hurt him he believed that this must be the most realistic dream ever. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘if this dream has Neko-chan in it, it can’t be bad.’ He then began to unzip his pants until Neko-chan noticed and stopped him.

“What are you doing you pervert, nya?” she gave him a stern, but really cute look. Scrooge’s face went blank and then he hung his head. ‘Damn it. She turned me down.’ He looked back up at her as he remembered something, “Well this is a dream, right?”

“No, nya. Now let me take you to your past, nya.” Neko-chan grabbed Scrooge’s arm and dragged him to the door when he asked, “What do you mean my paaaa~st?” Neko-chan’s cat ears were perked and she said, “I mean your Christmas pasts silly, nya.” She giggled cutely and it gave Scrooge a stiffy. ‘God she’s so cute and beautiful.’

“Stop checking me out, nya.” Neko-chan gave him that same stern look as before. Her tail continued to wave around and her cat ears were a little pulled back to show slight annoyance. “Pay attention, nya.”

Scrooge looked to the scene before him and saw that it was when he was ten years old. It was Christmas and his first present he opened was the box set of the anime “Tigermon Z”. His face was so full of joy; he smiled so brightly. “Awesome!” his ten year old self exclaimed. “I’ve been wanting this so badly!” He looked to his parents and got up to go hug them. “Thanks Mom and Dad!”

“This was when I was ten. I remember that Christmas. It was so awesome!” Scrooge smiled smugly.

Neko-chan blinked. “Why was it awesome, nya? Because of the anime, nya?” Scrooge shook his head.

“No,” he replied. “It’s because I was with my Mother and Father.” As he reminisced on those feelings of joy from that particular time, it caused him to feel sad that he doesn’t get those feelings anymore.

He then wakes up in his room and he sees a maid looking at him. “You’re wide awake my master. I am the ghost of Christmas Present.”

She smiled sweetly. “Let’s go visit where your friend James is at.” She and Scrooge magically appear floating above the karaoke bar that James and the other club members are at. They were celebrating Christmas Eve by singing anime songs and having fun. Everyone was getting along and laughing happily. As Scrooge looked around, he saw all the wonderful foods they were eating and noticed the many anime products there, including a few that he’s been wanting.

He looked to the maid and asked, “What’s the point of this?”

The maid answers, “Don’t you see what you’re missing? You could be here having fun with your friend James and be somewhat likeable, yet you were selfish and thinking only about yourself.” Her stern, little voice cut through his mind and Scrooge began to understand a little bit of what the sexy little maid told him.

She smiled as she saw that what she said was getting to him. He seemed to really be paying attention now. He looked around the karaoke bar and realized that it wouldn’t have been a bad idea to accept the invite James gave him earlier.

He wakes up again. “Damn this dream!” As he gets up from his desk and turns around, there it was. Mechazinger T was standing before him.

“Let me guess, you’re the ghost of Christmas Future,” he says with a sweat drop. Mechazinger T replies robotically, “Affirmative.”

“So now what?” Scrooge asked Mechazinger T opened a portal and throws Scrooge into it. Scrooge is back in his room and looks around, “wait a minute. I’m back in my room.” He looks toward his desk and sees a fat balding man. “So who’s this slob?” He was silent for a while then he reacted in horror. “No! It can’t be! That can’t be me! Can it?!” He fell to the floor in despair.

Mechazinger T answers robotically again, “That is you in the future, due to you alienating everyone in your life and you fell into a deep depression in hatred and died alone in your room.”

Scrooge cried sorrowfully saying” I will change! I will change! Give me another chance! Please, another chance!”

He wakes up on the floor crying with tear down his eyes. He opens his window and it’s light outside. He sees the neighbor kid and asks, “what day is it today?”

He replies dryly, “It Christmas you weird Otaku.”

Scrooge calls James on the phone. James answers, “What happened?” He asked in a tired voice.

“James! James! Call and round up all of the club members to meet me in the park at noon,” Scrooge said frantically.

“You sound very excited this morning. Sure, I’ll do it.” They then hang up.

The clubs members were at the park and Scrooge appeared with boxes of pizzas and drinks. He then began a speech.

“So I know that I have not been the best president of this great anime club. I have realized how selfish I had become and how I have not taken anyone else’s feelings into consideration. This is my apology to everyone about how awful of a person I have been. So I’m sorry and Merry Christmas! Dig in!”

Everyone accepted his apology and began to raid the many boxes of pizza. And James speaks up with a pizza slice in his hand. “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

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blogger by Daniel Mercedes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.


Danny Choo

Sankaku Complex

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